You're just as sane as i am.

Christmas is past, over and done. It is always a bit melancholic, slightly bittersweet, the day after Christmas. Knowing everything is over. The past few days have been wonderful; I got my share of cookies and wistful lights and secret fires and suprises and smoke, and family. Mine is quite fantastic. I realized yesterday how many people I have that I love, and that love me. It's so beautiful.

For Christmas I got, among other things, these lace up leather boots. They are quite perfect, I cannot wait to wear them out. I also got an ivory colored scarf and the new The Maine album. Overall, a good Christmas.
Tomorrow I am going to the city with my family, we are going to explore Chinatown. It's been a while since I have roamed the streets of San Francisco; I'm excited. I'm bringing my camera so that I can get handfuls of nostalgic pictures of the city at Christmas time. If there are any beautiful ones, I will post them later.
Enjoy the leftover Christmas warmth, and the clouds; they are so vast at this time of year.
Much love.

xx
{emma}

The best time of the year.

It's finally Christmas time. I am out of school, finals are over, and finally I can revel in the christmas lights and the color red and cookies and the crispy air outside and the smell of peppermint and evergreen. It truly is the most magical time; I love it more than any other.

I am incredibly excited for the next two weeks, my two weeks of necessary freedom. I can't wait to spend the next three days with all of my family, stretching out Christmas into a much longer excursion; I have a massive family, so it takes us several days to see everyone. Which is just fine with me. I can't wait to see him, to give him my present...I hope he likes it. I have a feeling he will. I can't wait to have a photoshoot with my two best friends, surrounded by beautiful clothes and outrageous makeup and silky hair and christmas lights and pretty music and lush fabric. It will be beautiful, I know it. I can't wait to go to the city; it's been a while since I have walked around San Francisco, I sort of miss it. And plus, there is something so heartbreakingly beautiful about the city at Christmas time.
My brother and I made cookies this morning, we are going to frost them soon. I documented the whole thing with my new camera, hence the cookie pictures; both the cookies and the pictures turned out pretty well. And it was just entertaining either way.

Otherwise, I have been obsessing over '50s music {the trumpets}, christmas lights, trains, velvet and leather, my camera, and pretty sweaters. I am so excited for Christmas, it's crazy. Enjoy the yummy food and the lights, and until later,
Happy Christmas.

xx
emma}

If the drugs don't work you probably need more.

The past few days have been rather strange, Friday especially. Full of cold and laughing and starry eyes and running away and darkness and wispy fog and icy fingertips and smoke. A big group of us went to the talent show at our highschool, which was interesting; there were a few people who were quite good and then some not so good. One of my best friends twisted her foot on a staircase, once we got home we iced it and ate macaroni and cheese and ice cream; one of my favorite parts of the night if I am honest.

Yesterday we got our christmas tree, which makes me so happy and warm inside. My mom and my little brother and I spent most of the day listening to strange music and stringing lights and ornaments and candy canes on the tree and about the house. Our stockings even got hung up. Then last night was spent running around town, eating warm food and hiding out in the car with the heater blasting hot, musty air at our cheeks.

I love this time of year so very, very much, so nostalsgic and melancholy and just a little hearbreaking, but painfully beautiful at the same moments. I have been listening to Bon Iver constantly; it seems it is the perfect soundtrack to my life at the moment. And outside; it always makes me want to write music, just staring out the windows at the skies.

Until later loves.

xx

{emma}

Now we have something worth fighting for, don't we love?

This is something that I am looking forward to so very, very much; Laurelyn, if you read this, this is us in a year and a few months on our epicly amazing, mass concert attending, college visiting, beautiful clothing gathering, life-finding, music filled roadtrip. I am so excited. It will literally be a time of my life. I just found this picture and it reminded me of that and got me all anxiously awaiting it, anyways.

Love you,
xx
{emma}

Camera Shy.

I finally got my new camera! It is so incredibly amazing, I'm so completely inspired. I spent all day and night yesterday neglecting my homework and running around my house and my yard snapping hapless, random pictures of odd things. I am going to have so much fun with it, I just know.
Also, I am getting my christmas tree tomorrow, I am so excited. I love this time of year more than any other.

xx
{emma}

I'll be holding all the tickets, and you'll be holding all the fines.

It seems like so long since I have last written here, it feels almost a little new. I'm not entirely sure what it is that I have to say, so I will just start writing. Because it's something I'm good at.
These past few weeks have been mesmerizing, dotted with a few hours of spice here and there. A few weekends ago it was a party of sorts, which was dark and warm and smokey and yummy-smelling and laughing until my cheeks hurt and soft and late out and adventurous, so adventurous. A bit, at least. For me. I was so tired the next day, but it was so worth it, trust me. Next was last weekend, which was stumbling around town for hours, hiding and soft whispers between trees and muffled laughing and running, and, well, a bit of something very enjoyable. The next day was a party. I got all dressed up in a wine colored lace dress and pretty heels; felt so grown up. We spent the night dancing to strange music and engulfed in deep conversations. It felt freeing.
Then yesterday was Thanksgiving. Which was so very yummy. I love the holiday mainly for the food and the pie and the warmth, and the sound of the rain pelting the windows with the woodstove radiating heat and being surrounded by family. And I actually successfully made an apple pie, which, trust me, is quite a feat for me. Perhaps my cooking skills have finally decided to show themselves. Fingers crossed.

I feel like something big is going to happen, a monumental, significant, cosmically vast event; maybe it will turn my world upside down. I don't know why, exactly, it is that I feel this, but perhaps it is because my life has been pereptually stagnant of late. Perhaps it's time for a bit of a spark.

xx
{emma}

Make me a liar, yeah, one big disaster.

All the stars above our heads, faster they came faster they went.

I dreamt so vivid last night; never before has the wave of realization that dreams are figments of the imagination washed over me as such relief. I woke up nearly crying. But today, just seeing his face made it all that much more impossible and faraway seeming. It was okay again.
Otherwise, today was an average day, i suppose. Not much out of the ordinary, except for the switch of the hour, which allowed me to sleep in for what seemed like only a few deliciously warm minutes, but still. At least the sun was up before me.
Savor that precious hour while it lasts, loves.

xx
{emma}

Fright night.

I wish i could be out in the dark tonight, running among the spirits along the streets with everyone as someone else. Unfortunately I can't due to the mountain of homework I have. Ah well, it just makes me sad; the first time I have not dressed up for Halloween before. But I do have my own stash of sugar, so I suppose I can sit and do homework and watch scary movies and eat sweets in the warmth, not so bad.

To those of you going out tonight, enjoy the ghosts and goblins, and whatever else you might encounter.

Much love,
xx
{emma}

I'm a renegade, it's in my blood.

I find it strange that, despite the fact that it has only been a matter of weeks since i have last written, it seems like a world has happened.

To begin with, my birthday was fantastic. The actual day was spent doing much of nothing; i walked downtown and bought a few cherry red bandanas which i sewed into a shirt. A polaroid camera made it into my arms as well, which i am so happy about. I can't wait to get film and try it out. That night consisted of cake and candle flames, and beautiful presents and listening to Bon Iver, which just made the night that much more gorgeous.
The next day my family and i went to the city. I always love going there; get all dressed up in pretty clothes and be whoever you imagine yourself as. I wore heels, which, despite the steep hills made me feel tall and more grown-up than usual. One of those days where you come home late when all the neighbors are asleep, crawl into bed softly and are lulled to dreaming by the knowledge that the day was well-spent.

Then the weekend before was the homecoming dance at my high school. We got all dressed up to go, a big group of us. When we got there, none of us were so thrilled to go and so spontaneously, we decided to go to the beach instead, all ten of us. It was amazing. We drove to the coast and it was warm, perfect when we got there. It was dark out and only a few tiny crystal stars sparkled through the fog. When we walked out on the sand, out towards the water, our footsteps lit up. The bioluminescence was still there, tiny remnants of it. It was so beautiful, like walking on stars. Infinite. We danced in the dark with the sand lighting up beneath our soles and the sound of the waves breaking in the background like the crazy kids that we are. Sometimes, I love being a teenager.

Other little things have happened since then, small, insignificant type things yet still significant to me, but i won't bore you with them. I am tired, so tired, but through it all i love this life i have, and that's all that matters really, in the end.

xx
{emma}

Wild thing.

My sweet sixteen is finally here...wait till 11:08 and i'll be the golden age.

xx

{emma}

The roof's on fire, let's burn down the Vatican.

Yesterday was perfect. Run-ins with wasps, terrifying but made my sides and my mouth hurt from laughing so hard. Then a quick decision..a weight off my shoulders.

Once school was out, two of my best friends in the universe trekked to the movie theatre downtown where we sat in the shade and had interesting and needed conversations, staring at our reflections and whispering strangely whenever anyone passed by. The rest of the night and today consisted of more of the same talk, laying around and watching movies and laughing until my cheeks ached. I adore nights like that. And i love my friends more than anything.

Homecoming is coming up in a few weeks, so we will be getting dresses and such soon. I suppose i'm excited; it'll be fun because of who i'm with. Also my birthday is coming up. Sweet sixteen, so hard to believe. When i was little it was always the age i pretended to be in games; the golden age. I'm not one for parties, not in the least, but i feel that if i am going to do anything, sweet sixteen is the time for living. But i'm not sure, I will keep you posted.
Until next time,

xx
{emma}

Do you want to be a band of theives, just you and me?

Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun, when you get close i feel like coming undone.

Today has been, for a Wednesday, amazing. It did not start off that way, but as it progressed it got continually better. School like usual, seconds that felt like minutes that felt like hours, so much time spent with my iris' glued to the clock. Science was long, so long, but then wood {don't laugh} was actually pretty enjoyable; our teacher lost track of our project so me and my best friend were able to pass the time with needed conversation. History was better than usual, we got to work on our lily pad analogy poster for the American Revolution the entire hour and a half. I got to draw a french frog...with a beret. It was fantastic.

Once math was through two of my best friends and i walked over to a community garden in town and worked for a few hours. It was one of the most beautiful things i have done in a long while. We got to thin out tiny, infant carrot sprouts so they could grow bigger once the rains come. I got to talk to people i know of, but don't personally know, and just sitting there with my hands caked in the warm dirt and the wind whistling and weaving through us, it was so quiet. In my mind at least, it was like a meditative state. I am going to try to go as much as i can.

Also i was thinking. It's so strange how one compliment, just a single one, can add color to a day. Yesterday a kind person told me that i should be a model for Aerie, and that i looked like a mermaid or a faerie. And while i don't necessarily agree with this, i loved it because it was a terribly sweet thing to say. I think i will try to compliement people more often; it's beautiful how it can add light to a grey day.

Otherwise, my mind has been focused on averagely plain things; homework, school, sleep. Not much to talk about. Thank goodness for music.
Later loves.

xx
{emma}

Even when i'm walking on a wire, even when i set myself on fire.

Why do i always feel invisible?

School has started again. Honestly, it's really not that horrible. I have all my classes except one with my best friend and a few with other close friends. I don't have any with my other best friend though, and that makes me sad. But otherwise it's not the worst. Ironically, i have less homework now than i did over the summer. For now, anyway. But it's nice to see everyone again. It's strange how everyone changes so quickly.

I've been doing a lot of exploring in my little town lately, it's strange how many new things i find that i have never seen before. Shops i have been into a hundred times, or places i had never entered even in my nearly sixteen years of living here were suddenly full of beautiful things. I love feeling like I'm truly at home here, like i know so many of the secret passages and inconspicuous corners that seem invisible to visitors. It will be so hard to leave, when the time comes. But, then another adventure will commence, i am sure, and i can discover a home away from home. I will always come back though, i know that.

Otherwise i have been doing a bit of nothing, taking lots of pictures of pointless things and reading books. And singing. I love this time of year so much, a bit of hot a bit of cold...perfect.

xx
{emma}

The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

These past few weeks have been filled with wonderful things, despite the dotting of stress in between.

Camping was amazing, i always forget how beautiful it is up there and how close you are to the stars. I wished upon a shooting star under a cloudless sky, sitting by the campfire having marshmallow roasting contests. I didn't win; but maybe i got my wish. The water was ice cold but it felt so good against bare skin. My breath got stolen from me every time I jumped in, but it was a good loss, for the moment. We paddled out to a little island in the middle of the lake and I took lots of pictures of shadows and rocks and water. I could have stayed there for a long while.

Yesterday was registratration for my highschool. It's so strange seeing everyone, coming back after only a few months and realizing how everyone has changed so much. I am a bit apprehensive about this year, to be honest. I can foresee breakdowns.
After, time was spent with a few of my best friends, walking endlessly and aimlessly, then nearly napping and talking until our mouths got tired. Late at night we went outside and startripped, which was halarious. I was half drunk on our laughter. I found out today that we managed to wake nearly all of my neighbours up, but it was worth it.

Other than that, I have been slaving away on my history homework and plucking at my guitar. Those of you who know me, please. Do me a favor, will you? Next year, don't let me take difficult classes. I will thank you, cross my heart.

Until later loves.
xx
{emma}

Reality is a lovely place, but i wouldn't want to live there.

I'm closer to the clouds up here anyway.

Today was a good day. Wasted away walking in circles, running across floating bridges and drawing on tables with a few choice people.
Wednesday was amazing. My mom, brother and i went to a free concert near our house at a winery, guess who i got to meet? Matt Nathanson. It made my week. Maybe my whole month. He was so sweet, and when he talked to me he really looked in my eyes. He wasn't distracted like i'm so sure many people would be. I got his new album; it really is modern love.

Tomorrow we leave for camping at my favorite place away from home. A lake with water like ice and crystal clean glass, with tiny islands out in the middle to be explored. I can't wait to take pictures. I always feel a little closer to the sky when I'm up there. It's gorgeous.
Until the return,

xx
{emma}

You are dancing through my veins.

The tranquil lights, stark water, conspicuously brave colours. Summer is the perfect time for love.

xx
{emma}

Shocks.

There's something beautiful about animals, and how they love you. Unconditionally. Unprejudiced. They don't care if you are good looking, or thin, or rich, or have high social status. They don't pay any attention to the color of skin or social beliefs or who you love. As long as you love them. And they will love you back with everything they have.

There's something beautiful about that.

I just literally got hugged by one of the coolest cats I've ever met. I wanted to kidnap him and take him home with me. I restrained myself, don't worry. But...

xx

{emma}

And it was sad news, i was not magnificent.

I know it's twisted...but i love it anyways.

Hello again. I am back. From what, you ask? Well.

Basically for the past week me and my best friend have been doing two things: laying on the couch, and watching all the Harry Potter movies in order, to make an epic Harry Potter movie marathon. This was all a build up to the second part of the 7th movie, which we saw the midnight premier of. I loved it...seriously, i did. And I cried {alot}. They did leave out a few crucial things, in my opinion; however, i would give it 9 out of 10. Maybe 9 1/2 out of 10. It was brilliant regardless :D

Anyways, other than that i have been doing alot of nothing, hanging out with someone special <3, writing alot of songs, listening to alot of Bella Ruse, {which you should check out if you haven't heard already}, and sleeping. I should probably get started on my History and English homework but...ahh! One more day i can relax, then I'll crack down. Maybe.
Oh, also, in other news, i got my nose pierced! It really didn't hurt barely at all, but for some reason a few minutes afterwards, i thought i was going to black out. I had to lay down and elevate my feet...it was pretty embarrassing. But the girl who pierced it was really cool. So, it was all and all okay.

Well, overall this is a rather boring post, but i felt it was semi necessary since it has been awhile.
Later lovelies.

xx
{emma}

You were my concience, so silent now you're like water.

So a few nights ago in the late/early hours of the night/morning, i was laying in bed half asleep, and i had what i thought was a semi-brilliant idea. Make a blog about music..as in, every time i find a cool band, i would post it. Fully awake it sounds less brilliant and more mildly cool, but hey. With summer comes a small amount of boredom, however much appreciated. So, here go's nothing. If you're in need of some music i think is awesome, check it out ;)

http://musicmystiqueblog.blogspot.com/

xx
{emma}

P.s.: Happy day after the 4th. Hope you enjoyed the fireworks as much as i did, and also i hope you don't have a bangover ;) ...from the noise of the fireworks i mean. Dirty minds you have! Heheh.
Hasta luego loves.

Baby, you're a firecracker.

You light up the sky like a fire in my eyes, you bring me up bring me out turn me on bright.

This weekend has been amazing.

To start, friday was just a great day. Full of tea and one of my favorite people :) Saturday was Warped, which is a mass concert with over 100 bands put on by Vans that tours around every summer. I went with three of my best friends, and it was pretty amazing. The sound in the amphitheatre wasn't honestly that good, but i could tell that underneath the bad sound the bands were really good. If that makes sense. But anyways, we saw Relient K, Go Radio, Every Avenue, Hellogoodbye, The Wonder Years, Black Veil Brides, and a few others. It was pretty cool. And there was also lots of free cds and stuff, which made it even cooler. I felt right at home with the scene kids and the hipsters :)

The next day, yesterday, was the 3rd of july. Which, yes, to most others would be like, okay, so the day before the 4th? But. Here in my small hippie town, we do things differently. Meaning all the fireworks and big town partying? Happens on the 3rd. Which is cool because then today, the 4th, we got to do our own fireworks, and firecrackers. But anyway, i forgot how much i love fireworks. They are one of my most favorite things in the world; i loved just laying in the grass and watching the bright colors and sparks mesh with the stars.

xx
{emma}

Spin you round through the roar of this crowd, tonight.

Do you think i'm a gullible? Or even a gulli-calf?
I have recently realized that my family has a humor that would be completely foreign to any other person.

I can't even explain what I'm feeling right now. I can assure you it's a good feeling, so good. But there's just so much of it. I love it.

I got back from Seattle/Portland yesterday; essentially, I'm in love with Portland. I think I'm going to college there; at least; i have a hunch. There was the most amazing stores, like this one called Cargo that was the coolest store I've ever been to. Like an oriental fairytale. Filled with bunches of imports of bright rustic furniture and jewelry and posters and prayer flags and masquerade masks and little blue bottles and old newspapers and baskets and gorgeous embroidered bags and blankets and huge tapestries and tons and tons of cards and beads, all from Asia. I could have spent hours and hours in there.
There was also Powell's Books, which i did spend hours and hours in. It was brilliant. Supposedly it is the hugest bookstore in North America, or something like that. I could get lost in there, gladly. It was like a palace for books; I spent an hour in the first shelf.
Along with those there was the Doc Marten's store, a little coffee shoppe, an Irish pub, lots of food carts, and other little miscellaneous markets and cafes. I could spend weeks there alone just exploring. Someday.
Seattle was also beautiful. We stayed with some close friends, nearly family, really. They have a four year old daughter who is just about the most amazing child I've ever met, in so many ways. For one, she's got some crazy ukulele talent, and she is so intelligent. And she's also simply adorable. I can't wait to see who she will be when she grows up. Anyway, in Seattle we went to this music museum which had a set based on the history of rock, which was pretty amazing. There were hundreds of guitars; i saw the stratocaster that Jimi Hendrix played at Woodstock, and Kurt Cobain's guitar. My brother was in guitar heaven, snapping tons of pictures as we went. We stopped at this music shop also, which i had been to before. Quite possibly the greatest music store i've been inside. I played a telecaster, {my dream guitar}, and i also discovered that i really like steel guitars. They have a certain twang that's sort of mysterious and blatant simultaneously. So anyways, the trip was wonderful, despite the intense 30+ hours of driving. Even then.

The day before the trip me and two of my best friends ever went to The Maine concert, which was absolutely incredible; we were literally about ten feet away, so close. It was a blast. And they were really good live, which makes them that much better. When we got home at midnight we sat in my kitchen eating ice cream out of the tub and talking. I adore my friends more than anything.
And the other thing that is contributing to my intensely perpetual wonderful mood, is that i found someone. Or, i guess; we found eachother.

spin you round through the roar of this crowd tonight, tonight
dance you round throught the bones of this town until daylight comes
hope, hope will put the colors in the sky
hope, hope will set this world of wrong to right, to right
love comes tumbling down

Anyway.
Bring it on, summer. I'm ready for you.
xx
{emma}

I fly like paper, get high like planes.

Whoa. Long time no blog.
Well, my summer is officially underway, although my summer weather is not. It feels like christmas break, all rainy and windy and grey. However, despite the extremely depressing weather, it's been amazing. Seriously.

And i have something to admit. Basically, a few days ago i watched Burlesque..twice. And i'm totally in love. Totally. I know since that movie came out theres probably a bajillion other girls saying the same thing "Mommy i wanna be a burlesque dancer!", {not that i have literally said that by the way}, but it's so inspiring. All the costumes and the music and intense lights..mm. I know thats more the hollywood version of things, yes, but wouldnt it be amazing if every club in LA, and all other cities in fact, had that insanely awesome vibe and precision and amazing dancing? I would be in the city all. the. time. Anyway, so as strange and random as it sounds, i have a new bucket list item. Be a burlesque dancer for a day. Or, who knows, maybe once i do that i'll find its my calling. A girl can dream...am i right?

Other than that, i got some concerts coming up that i'm pretty psyched for, and i'm going to Portland and Seattle in a few days. I'm excited. It's gonna be an awesome summer, i can tell.
Cross your fingers for sun :)

xx
{emma}

It's true, you're electric i can't get over it.

Yesterday, and today. Best. Days. Ever.

Perpetual good mood still perpetual :) Why?
-School is over. Over. OVER!
-This means it's officially summer. And summer is the best time of the year. Ever.
-This also means i'm a junior. Which is kinda half and half, i'm not looking forward to junior year cause i know it's gonna be hard, but still. Junior sounds so much better than sophomore.
-It smells like summer outside. Sweet and warm and lazy and soft and light. One of the best smells ever that cannot possibly replicated because its just so amazing.
-Just something else. :D

I'll keep you posted.
Later.

xx
{emma}

I don't want anybody else, if i can have you for myself.

So. Basically, i have been in a perpetually amazing mood for the past 3 days. It's so amazing to me how one thing, or ok, a few, can get me high on nothing. I love it.
And. I think i'm in love. Honestly. I know how cliche that sounds, but i realized that i couldn't remember when i had ever felt this way because i never had. It's all new. I highly recommend it.

Anyways, the past few days have consisted of an amazing day on thursday, after school and at my final orchestra concert of the year, even though i had to wear a tutu. Even then. Then friday i hung out with one of my best friends who was stranded, and she ended up hanging at my house and sleeping over. Our evening consisted of talking about the same thing for hours and hours and walking to a school nearby to go on the merry go round, and the slide. Sadly the slide was kinda anticlimactic..i got all psyched and climbed up the steps and got ready to zoom down it really fast, but for some reason, the combo of my jeans against slide just didn't happen and so i ended up just kinda scooting down it pathetically. We also played checkers with woodchips and rocks, which made me realize i really need to brush up on that game. Basically, i suck.
Then today {Saturday}, i went to the Maker Faire, which was pretty cool, and hung out with my friend Maia. One thing i love about that fair is all the awesome free stuff they give out. Anyways that was pretty fun :)
And now, i am sitting at home watching the first part of the 7th Harry Potter for the second time in 2 days, which i am completely happy with.

So, i hope to continue with this amazing mood spell..hopefully it'll even get better. I'll keep you posted ;)
Enjoy the weekend. Later.

xx
{emma}

{+} Thursday. Enough said.

You know me.

Your warm whispers, letting me drown in a pool of you
Your warm whispers, keeping the noise from breaking through

So basically, this is what i want to be doing right now. In the sun. During summer.
However, instead i am in my house watching as it pours down rain from clouds that look like they're from a painting of a ship caught in a storm. I'm a little dissapointed. Not to mention the mountain..{literally} of homework just waiting for me. But. I got me some macaroni and cheese so i'm okay :)
Also, i have come to a conclusion. I love the rain, i really do..but not when i'm stuck in it without a hood or umbrella for a half hour in town, with no place to go. Which i was, in fact, after school. It would have all been fine of it hadn't just happened to have been the one day this whole year that i forgot my phone. I'm all for no phones or technology when it's reasonable, but man, sometimes i feel so lost without mine.

Anyways, this weekend was really fun, although mostly uneventful. I did, however, model for a really really awesome photoshoot with my friend maia at our friend taya's shoot. It was pretty awesome, i got to have my hair all done up to look amazing in an Anthropologie/Free People sort of way, and then got to wear a bunch of her clothes, all gorgeous, and some of which she made. I'm sorta jealous of her talent. :) I'm excited to get the pictures and see how they turned out.
And there's 8 more days of school! I am so, so so so excited.

Anyways, enjoy the rain i guess, just stay inside and stay warm, it makes the rain so much better.
later.

xx
{emma}

You look like the afternoon, when you wake at 6 in the morning.

"There's this constant whirlwind of motion and sound all around, and then there's the quiet one, the eye of the storm."

First post of May. It's crazy how time flies, and how unbelievably close we are to summer..freedom. It makes me happy.

So. I despise with a passion the feeling when i know i just did something, or didn't do something, i guess, that i'm going to regret so much. It's one of the worst feelings. That was the second part of my 24 hours yesterday. I was so angry at myself; I'm such a coward sometimes. I know i need to just let myself go, to just take the risk that's so near impossible for me to take, but it's so hard. But i only have nine more days to let go.

On another note; I. am. so. glad. it's. friday. Only 9 more days of school left, i'm so psyched. And I'm sorry for the vagueness..if thats a word. But i needed to vent, to let it out. I promise I'll be better next time, got the whole weekend ahead of me :D Enjoy the sun.

xx
{emma}

Don't forget to breathe.

I can't wait for today.

xx
{emma}

We were almost make believe.

"I really messed up, didn't i?" "Not to my standards."

I probably shouldn't be blogging right now, due to the insane amount of homework that's calling my name, but i am. Procrastination is one of a few honed skills that i excel amazingly at.

So you know what i just figured out? Summer starts in exactly a month. Wooooot! I cannot wait, i need it more than anything right now. And sleep. It's a thing of beauty, sleep is.
Anyways, that knowledge made my day.

So easter was good, there were lots of muffins and chocolate to be had, so i was happy. My entire family, as in, over thirty people populated our house for nearly 12 hours, so that was hectic but cool. Aand, i wasn't allowed to participate in the easter egg hunt. i, instead, being the old one, had to hide the eggs. Someday, i will have my easter egg hunt. One of my best friends told me that when we live together she's gonna hide a bunch of eggs for me to fufil that rite of passage :) So i'm content with that promise in mind.

Also, i got a 12 string guitar! It's so gorgeous, i love it so much. It sounds like three guitars and its a red label so its like forty years old. Which is awesome.
Okay, so this is going to sound reeeaally lame but i keep coming up with little things that make me smile, so i was thinking so i don't forget them i'd put one on every post.
so, here's some silver linings for you. Or me...

+ new music
+ the sound of John Lennon's voice in Twist and Shout
+ friendship bracelets
+ the smell of nice hotel towels
+ accents
+ really good guy singers
+ feathers
+ drinking out of wine glasses...it makes me feel sophisticated haha
+brilliant lyrics
+ accidental amazing pictures
+ stripes
+ that one song that makes you want to dance and dance and dance
+ good days

xx
{emma}

He's waiting in the wings, for you.

Do you feel it too? Its the air we breathe, its intoxicating. Or is it you? You intoxicate me, did you know? Something in the way you move and the way your smile reaches across the distance between us and closes up the spaces. I think we should jump off this edge together, I'll hold your hand.

Finally caught a break. I am so, so happy i have four days, four days {!} off. It's so needed, it's crazy. I've been so burnt out it's like i want to fall asleep and not wake up until i'm retired. I know that sounds depressing, but mainly it's just because i'm in a bit of a rut right now. If that's what it is. I just need lots of sleep, lets say that. Anyways, besides the lack of sleep and the massive amount of homework i had and still have, this week has actually been pretty good.

Some things that make me really happy:

{+} my new favorite album, the new This Century album just came out. I know i sound like the typical boy-band obsessed girl, and i guess i kinda am, but whatever. I love their music.
{+} i found black converse hightops on ebay for cheap and i've been wanting them forever. They might just have to be bought.
{+} i wrote a song yesterday in like ten minutes and i actually really like it. Not that anyone else will necessarily, but ya know.
{+} I'm kinda excited for Easter.
{+} it's sunny. It wasn't supposed to be, but it is. I love it when that happens.
{+} this is going to sound stupid, but i saw a cloud shaped like a squirrel today, and it sort of made me happy. Apparently I'm easily pleased.
{+} i rediscovered one of my favorite songs...how's it gonna be by Third Eye Blind. It makes me wanna cry and smile at the same time. If that doesn't sound too corny.
{+} i think i'm gonna try and fly a kite tomorrow. Just a thought.
{+} little conversations and passing glances and so many smiles. They make my day :) {+} It's break!! woot!
Anyways thats all i got for now, i'm sorry it's a pretty boring post. Have a happy Easter if you celebrate it, if not, have a good Sunday :)
xx

{emma}

Maybe amazing is your middle name.

So i know this isn't technically a full out post, but. I have no time thanks to the mountain of homework i have, and i had to post one thing. Basically this is the epitome of awesomeness. And i really mean it when i say, I'm in freaking love.




And for some reason, i want to go jump in a lake right now while listening to this song. And i don't quite know why.
Anyway. I promise i'll post more soon, i actually have interesting things to talk about! ...interesting by my blogging standards at least.
until soon :)

xx
{emma}

I don't want to dance alone.

It's weird how a day can be completely reversed by one little thing. Or two, actually.

So, yesterday was a bad day. I didn't get any sleep and i woke up feeling like i could go back to bed and sleep for another trillion years. And, i got home reeaally late the night before and had no ambition or energy, or brain capacity to do my homework so i had a ton of stuff that i didn't do. So i was in the worst mood ever to begin with, then I got to school and realized that i had a huge english assignment due that i thought was due in a few weeks, and I hadn't even opened the book. I wanted to cry. Plus it was monday, which is the worst day ever.

Anyways, so after a terrible morning there was a short, brief conversation in passing that put a smile on my face. Then as i was driving home i saw a guy standing outside at a gas station. I'm guessing he worked there cause he had a uniform thing on, and i think he was on break, and what was he doing? Flying a kite. Not sitting back behind the building smoking a cigarette or anything, no. He was flying a kite. I loved that. And, it sorta made my day.

Anyways, today was better, had star testing which wasn't awesome but classes were shorter so it was okay.

And it's slightly sunny, which is awesome :)

Until later,

xx

{emma}