Brown eyes, fire flies.

 

Two days down, three to go. I miss you like crazy.
I can't wait until you get back, so you can automatically make my night with your infectious smile and the way you make me laugh without even trying. I can't wait for you.

Love,
{emma}

Rosey.

 

 

 

 

I have been so inspired lately. Inspired to do what, exactly, I cannot say. But this time of year, the air crisp and leaves splashing vermilion and saffron and ruby-red in front of my eyes; it does something magical. The rain is supposed to come tonight; I think I will try to stay up until it does, because there is nothing more beautiful than the sound of the rain.

My mum bought me an orchid today, a firey bright fuchia, and placed it arching swan-like on my windowsill. It made my day when I waltzed through the doorway of my room and saw it shining in the gentle sunlight. It is holding its own quite nicely among my collection of cactuses and succulents.

Things are looking up, thankfully. I am no longer terrified that this all will end. Not as much, at least. Because when we step out of the car late at night and he holds me in his arms and kisses me in the rain, when we talk about the adventures we will have spending our lives together, when we lie in bed and watch silly movies and giggle about nothing and talk ourselves out to sea, finally coming back to the beginning with cheeks painful from laughter, I have faith. This is something far more powerful than I can explain. And I know it is strong enough to last through any storm.

I am happy.

Love,
{Emma}

It's never rained like it has tonight, before.

 

I don't know what to do. I can't even think about him leaving me behind without bursting into tears. It's my birthday today; it's not supposed to be like this. He is beyond perfection; he is the stars and fireworks and every fragment of happiness I have ever felt combined into one being that has become the reason my heart beats. I can't live without him. Yet he talks as if I may have to soon, and my heart has already started to fracture.

I can't let that happen. I refuse. I have been in love with you for four years, since the moment I laid eyes on you, and I won't ever let you go. Not after I waited so long to finally have you.
We won't find each other, because we will never part. I will follow you to the ends of the earth darling, because you are worth more than any fight I have ever had to wage.

I will not drown just yet, my love.

And it was sad news, I was not magnificent.

 

So this is it. The beginning of the end. Senior year.

I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I'm a little excited to be done with high school and on to something new, but I think most of me just wants to grab on to what I have now and hold so tight and never ever let go.
I can't bear the thought of him leaving, going off to some beautiful beach and having the time of his life everyday, without me. I can't even think about it most of the time. But when I do it's like my heart just anticipates breaking.
Everything is so fragile now; I am so fragile. There's so many moments of the day where I feel invisible, or like I am not trying hard enough, so many moments where I feel like what I have in front of me is fleeting, like somehow it could all go away with the snap of a few fingers. And that is terrifying.
Life has been really sort of off, for me lately. I feel a bit lost, like I have lost my place in the scheme of things. Like I have lost people that I care about, so much, and I know I have, truthfully. But it's just so hard to let go sometimes, especially to let go of someone that you thought would be your sidekick for eternity. But I haven't given up entirely, not yet.
It's strange, because just a few months ago, I thought I had it figured out. But now, I just feel so young, so breakable. I feel like a tiny child, like when I was four years old and still scared of so much. It's funny how things can spin so polar on you.
And now my little brother, my baby brother, is in high school with me, and I love that. But also, it makes me sad because he's not so baby anymore. But it's so fun to see him smiling there in those echoing halls, just to see him so grown up and so young at the same time. I couldn't have asked for a better big little brother, to protect me and act like the older sibling most of the time. I have to cherish this year, because it will go so fast.
And I have this amazing fell-out-of-the-sky boy that is perfect, that will do anything to make me smile, make me laugh, that is always there with me even when I act like I can hold myself up. He lights up my eyes.

So there it is. A step into my mind. I can't even really make sense of it, so good luck to you.

Goodnight,
xx
{emma}

Wild, honey.

I have news. So, it seems as if I may be going to India; it looks quite possible in fact. My boyfriend and his family invited me along, as well as his close friend. I cannot tell you how ecstatic, overwhelmed, hysterical, anxious, uncomprehending, full-of-disbelief-about-to-explode I am. I have been trying not to let myself get excited, get my hopes up, but he is not helping; he now has me nearly convinced that in a number of months, I will be on a plane with him, his family, and our other friend, flying halfway around the globe to the place of my dreams.
It's really very hard to imagine.
If I could go to one place in the world, I would go there, India. It's such a system shock, such a polar opposite culture, I can't even anticipate. The people, the architecture, the food, the landscapes, the lifestyles, the street markets, the colors. They are all present in my dreams, and now nearly every other thought I have is somehow correlating to that place. That place that I might very well be in a few months. Fingers crossed.

So I had to tell someone. Or rather, put it down on a light screen and let my fingers fly across the dash, typing out the words I wish I could spill to someone. To everyone. But I have been working so much recently, the only people I really see are the two boys that would be on that plane with me. So, here I am.

Be back soon, loves.
xx
{emma}

Photos courtesy of JarvieDigital.com

Grand.

I am back. It's strange how much you forget about yourself and the things you thought you had memorized, had eternalized and forever burned into your retinas. I never thought it would be so easy. It made me sad.

The past ten days were insane. I traveled through six different states, met new people, re-met past people, listened to countless cd's, and fell in love with the world all over again.
The first night was Las Vegas, which honestly, sort of broke my heart. Underneath all of the lights and faux glamour there's a desperation and hopelessness, the city of sin. I don't think I would mind if I never returned. The next day few days it was the Grand Canyon, which was so breathtaking and heartstopping and incredible and unfathomable it hurt to look at. It's still hard to believe that our earth created that on it's own, something so vast and powerful and grand.
After a few days at the Grand Canyon, we drove to Durango, Colorado; I fell in love. I may have to live there at some point in my life. The land and the aspen and the colours and the water, it was so intensely beautiful it's hard to describe. We went river rafting and dry-sledding that first day, and that was exhilarating. A few of our extended family members, those who we have not seen for over ten years joined us there and that was amazing in itself. I miss them now. The next day we went to Mesa Verde, which was bloody hot, over one hundred and five degrees, but still it was worth it. Hundreds of years ago, small populations of natives built a city that still stands now, unchanged. Incredible. It was melancholic to leave that place, but I know that I will be there again at some point; I cannot go my entire life without seeing those hills and waters and trees once more.
The last place we went was Zion in Utah. Nearly every place we went this trip was beautiful, and this place was no exception. The rock, so red and proud and uncaring and massive. It was a bit hard to take in. We went on various hikes, waded through rivers, swam, took naps in the stifling heat. They were good last days.
Then, yesterday, we drove home, over fifteen hours and through five states to our little tiny hometown in gorgeous California. I didn't realize how much I had missed the clouds and the fog until I realized I was cold, and not blazing hot like I had been for the past ten days. We took an insane two hour detour to buy illegal fireworks, which was an adventure in itself, went through Death Valley, drove through nowhere, and finally, finally made it home.
It's so good to be back. My bed is so warm, my house so lovely, my cat so soft and aloof. It was an amazing trip, for sure, and I have over one thousand pictures to show for it, but I do love coming home. And I can't wait to see and hear all that I have missed.

Love,
xx
{emma}

Saying nothing, that's enough for me.

Whirlwind.

I feel like my life is on fast-forward. It's like I can't even remember the last time I took a deep breath in, really deep, and just shut my eyes. Breathed.
It's summertime. I still can't even believe it, really, that we are done with our third year of high school, that we are seniors. How did that even happen? So fast, the time just slipped away from us while we turned our backs for one tiny, infinite second.
So much has happened since I last wrote, I am not even sure where to begin. School ended sort of anti-climatically, to be honest; I guess I was just so tired. I got a new job, working at a little ice-cream shop in town. I'm excited about it, and everyone is really great there, but I will miss my little video store like a memory that doesn't last nearly long enough; but I actually see it as something that is not over, undone. I think I will probably work there again someday, hopefully at least.

My summer, so far, has been rather different than I expected, but actually in a really good way. I have spent nearly the past week with that wonderful, crazy amazing boy that lights up my eyes. He makes me so happy. And then the past two days, with another boy as well, that I am just getting to really know, and we three fit so well together. We have had adventures in the last 72 hours; going to a party at 11:00 at night, the car running out of battery at 4:30 AM just as we want to leave and go home and shut out eyelids tightly, pushing the car down the longest driveway, making plans to walk the four miles home in the dark, then feeling so elated and on top of the entire world when it actually finally started. Then getting home at 5:00 in the morning, watching the sunrise from the bedroom window, going out to breakfast, taking silly pictures in the restaurant reflection. He had to rush off to work, so the other he and I walked under the fiery sun to the school and sat on the steps in the shade and talked for hours, literally, about everything. Everything. Then school rooftop excursions, bike rack adventures, and then the bikeride to watch the sunset. And then, as the sky got black, riding to the cemetery and sitting on the bench, the three of us, looking at the stars, with the owls and the bats flying softly above us. Two days, and already we have had adventures. I love that.

Otherwise, I go to the Grand Canyon in a matter of days; I am so breathlessly excited. I am going to take so many pictures, capture it all. I can't wait! And my family; I love our roadtrips more than anything.

But this is a strange string of words, I admit. My thoughts are jagged and rumpled and it is late, and my eyelids are at war with my will. It's just that so much has happened, and truthfully, I can't even begin to write it all down. But I will, because I am so afraid I will lose it all, and that is terrifying in itself.
Anyway, thank you to those who actually read all of this, I promise I will be a bit more coherent next time.

Goodnight,
xx
{emma}

Spark.

Dear You:

Today is your birthday.

Do you know how I know that? I know because ever since that first day of third grade, when I was the new girl, shy and quiet and peeking out from under my bangs and holding my tiny, pieced together smile, you were there. You were my best friend, you know, the one. For years and years. Remember that? That first day we met, and your father laughed and said that finally, there was another redhead to join you. I remember, because that day was the day I officially met you and we started that friendship. It's crazy, looking back on it all, how well you knew me. I suppose now, if we were to meet again, you would feel as if you no longer know me at all.

But just remember all of those memories we have; how we would sing along to that song over and over again and when the swear words came along, we just yelled until they passed to protect my little brother's ears. How we both loved reading and writing more than anything, how we started our own band that we were sure would make us famous. How we would talk for hours about books and silly movies and how we would run through scenes of our favorites over and over out loud until we had them memorized. How the two of us would play store and always complain, and would set up that old cash register in your room and let your little sister be the customer. You would always talk about how someday, you would get a cat and name it Tigger.

How we would ride bikes downtown to the market to buy cake mix, and stop at the house with the free cucumbers, and the huge mansion along the way. That day we set off some one's car alarm on accident, and got away as quickly as we could because we were sure someone was after us. And you would always sing, all the time, and I was so envious of your voice. I remember all of it, I swear. And I am realizing how much I miss it all, how much I miss you. We were the redheads. We were the two girls, the ones that people always asked if they were sisters. That was us. I remember your family and exactly where you live, your house, your grandparent's home. I have your phone number floating around in the back of my brain; even after so many years, all of those phone conversations we used to have made sure that it would be ingrained forever. I remember it all.

It has been so many years since I have seen you. I tried to get in touch, but I am not sure if you didn't receive my letter, or if you did and simply did not want to reply. I miss you. And I wish that I had the courage to pick up the phone and dial in those numbers floating through my thoughts, your number.

I dreamt about you last night. It was the first time since I have thought about you in a long while; I dreamed that I saw you and your family, that it was just the same as if we had never spent any time apart. And when I woke up I realized that today was your birthday. It's strange, to me, how sometimes it seems like the universe just knows something.

Maybe tomorrow I will try again, I will be brave and send you that letter. Maybe you will write back. But I know myself too well, and that will probably not happen, so I will be a coward and simply write this instead, and cross my fingers that maybe, by some freak twisting of fate, you might see it someday and know it is for you. I am sorry that we don't see each other at all anymore, that I let our friendship slip away and escape. We had something good, something real, and you will always be one of my best childhood friends. I love you for that, I always will, and perhaps when we are old and grown we will meet again and it will be like we are best friends again, like no time has passed at all. And you can tell me everything that has happened in your life since we last spoke.

Happy Birthday, L. I hope it was fantastic.

Love, E.

Talk all the talk with a poet’s style, tongue like electric, eyes like a child.

She said she was broken. That she feels so lost, like she is not herself at all anymore. I can see it in your eyes. That way you smile but your pupils don't dance, how your lips curve but your brow is still creased. I can see it. You walk with intensity, like you have somewhere to be, but I think it is also because you are running. Running from a life of silence and dark and solarity and being completely alone inside your own head. We are all here still, you know. Even though you cannot see us. We will catch you if you fall off that tightrope, that railroad track. I swear; cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle straight through my eye. Don't you dare think you are alone.

My legs are restless right now. In fact, my entire body is restless, especially my mind. It is going around in circles all by itself. Tonight was by far one of the best nights of my life. Once again, I am going to have to stitch my lips shut up tight, but; it was different, but somehow more beautiful than I had expected. Somehow.

Yesterday was fabulous. Easter Sunday, and later I found out, my half birthday. I am now officially sixteen and a half. Anyways, despite the fact that my family is not terribly devoted to any particular religion, we did feel the need to do something lovely for the day. We chose adventure over ceremony, naturally. We walked along the sea's shore for a few hours, me snapping hundreds of misted nostalgic pictures of the ocean and the shells and the waves, and the breaking. There was also a pirate ship in the bay, a real live pirate ship. I couldn't help but think of Captain Jack when I waved to the many normal tourists being whisked out into the open sea while they idled safely on deck. Needless to say I got plenty pictures of that; they are actually really amazing, if that doesn't sound vain. Of course it is not my photography but the pirate ship that makes them so great. But still.
I also managed to pick up the biggest piece of sea glass I have ever seen; it is cloudy coloured, the size of my palm. Among the various other shells and pebbles I collected there was also the tiniest sand dollar. My mission was fulfilled when I stumbled upon it. You should have seen my grin. Victory! There was also a rainbow ring around the sun, which was beautiful and strange, and the little boy who shyly allowed me to take a picture of his kite, while hiding away an adorable little smile behind his coat sleeves. He made my day. Then lunch at a fabulous cafe, a run-in with a boy I used to know, a windy, chatty drive through the woods, then home, where I spent the evening watching old silly movies and eating peanut butter and chocolate. Overall, a day well spent.

I go back to school tomorrow. It is supposed to rain into this week, and I am not entirely sure how I feel about it. I do love the rain when I am warm and safe inside, but it does tend to complicate things when walking seems to be the primary mode of transportation I am left with. Either way, it is really beautiful. I suppose either way, there is that. And prom is next week. Suprisingly, I think I am actually kind of excited. Getting all dressed up, wearing my ridiculous high heels that look like shards of a disco ball, and generally just feeling silly in a dress and so much makeup. But I will be with a bunch of people that I love, and that crazy wonderful boy and his purple tuxedo, which I cannot wait to see. It should be a fun night, among the fish and the jade coloured water.

Good Night,

xx
{emma}

Baby there's a shark in the water.

So much has happened...I don't even know where to begin.

Today I got a job. I am now employed at this tiny video store in town, posters pasted all over and old movies shown constantly; I am so excited. It is truly my dream job, I cannot get over it. I am going to have so much fun, conversing with hippies and elderly couples about old or strange movies that I know of. I also got my SAT scores, and I did not do so badly; 1900.

Last Sunday was perfect. I mean, more than perfect, more than normal. More than ever. I am so lucky, luckier than I can even say. Unfortunately I cannot explain this code, this riddle. Because if I did, then I would be revealing a deep part of me that I do not wish to be discovered and splayed about, heard by so many strangers' ears. But just know that he made me happier than ever.

The rain came a few days ago, pounding at the glass like little diamond fingertips running down the casements and messing my hair until I looked as if I had been suddenly possessed by the urge to throw myself into a lake headfirst. But sitting inside warm, watching it come down in sheets, that is so beautiful to me. I remember when I was little and someone told me that every time it rained, that meant that angels were crying. It made me so sad to think of that, and it made me desperately wonder what could be so heartbreaking that it would make even angels sob. Even so many years later, I still think about that when the rain comes down. For some reason, the image stays in my mind in a sort of familiar, soft way; perhaps I still believe in the tears of angels after all.

Otherwise, today was just a generally wonderful day. Despite the grey, flint coloured skies that ceased to either break and let in sunlight or cloud over and offer angel tears, simply moving across the vast white above. I got a job, my first, I got my SAT scores, which were not entirely disappointing. Lunch was actually quite fabulous as well; examinations of palms and life lines and that wonderful boy and his strange singing, and the smile that makes me smile. I am so happy. Also, receiving compliments from the extraordinarily chipper man at the grocery store, who never fails to light my day up a bit, having a lovely conversation with a little girl that is far more comfortable with conversations than I, laughing over walking into inanimate objects and a hug from singing teacher, and a spontaneous, though fleeting visit from a good friend. All in all, I would say it was just a fabulous day, and not over yet; I still have to eat cereal. Trust me, it is not just any kind of cereal, but the kind made in heaven.

I hope your day was as smile-worthy as mine.
Happy Thursday,

xx
{emma}

I could fight a war like a veteran, give you a little more like a gentleman.

The past two days have just been really wonderful.

Yesterday was a concert that made us all deaf, bandana shopping, roaming a used clothing store, making fun of things as we went along, walking through child made tunnels at the park, a spontaneous trip to the coast, wind that stung and sand that pasted itself to my skin and my lips. Then food and sitting on the floor in a dark warm house, soaking in the stars and the mad man piano playing and the globe destinations and the dishwashing and broken glass, laughing until my cheeks were numb. By the end we were all so tired. But it was so worth it.

Then today, up before the sun, a quick breakfast of toast and then off to the DMV, where I finally got my liscense {Yes!}. Then lunch in a cafe with two lovely boys who make me smile, and then a walk through the forest on a path unknown to most of the world. I felt like we were in the middle of nowhere, when really, civilization was only a few miles away. But it was so peaceful, sitting next to the waterfall and looking up at the sunlight shafting in through the trees. Finally, home, where my brother and I ate too many chocolate mints, talked about Zombieland and did his math homework.
Then tomorrow, I have a fabulous all-nighter with two of my closest friends, where no doubt, sugar highs will be maintained and delirium will set in during the early hours of the morning. I do love this absurd tradition we have created.

This break has not let me down so far, to say the least. And I love being a teenager.
Until later, loves, and thank you for wasting time in order to get to the bottom of this rambling post full of nothing, it means worlds to me.

xx
{emma}

I'm not bulletproof anymore.

I could have seen him. He was there, I know he was, in that room, with that smile, those eyes. I could have told him. He could have seen me, my eyes never wavering from his face, from his everything. I could have told him how that day, when I thought that boy was him, how my heart literally skipped, how my chest felt like it was going to explode for just that millisecond. Until my brain caught up with my eyes. I would have told him how I run through that vision in my head over and over again late at night, those words and that feeling, until I cannot sleep, until my thoughts are only of it, and how it has become the song stuck in my head. How he has become my song. I would have told him how ever since that dream, I can't get him out of my mind, how he has become my secret. I would have, I swear.

I sang with Tiger Paw today. It was amazing, and so strange how I am transformed by a steady beat, a constant. My words take form, my rhythms become like a heartbeat. The shower of compliments remedied my confidence as well; it was an hour well spent. I desperately need to find someone to play with, to make music with, soon.

Last weekend was a beach adventure, one of the most amazing weekends of this year, I think. Sun streaks, icey blue, lovely friends, veggie sandwiches, sandcastles, summer music, and then, that terrifying car accident on the way home, that truthfully was hardly a crash at all. We were all alright, and honestly, it made for a good story in the end. Then Chinese food, a silly movie, and sleepy eyelids that shut so early for teenagers. I adore the beach and how the air fills my lungs and doesn't seem weighted, but almost like helium in its lightness and clarity. It's so beautiful there.

My mind has been preocupied of late, and I am not sure what to do. Can't think, wish I could. My thoughts are already full of something else.
Later, loves.

xx
{emma}

I get shy in these lights, I feel my pulse working overtime.

I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that were concrete, like the ocean; something you could point to and know what it is. I think that's why she always struggled with God and I think that's why she also struggled with love. She couldn't touch it. She couldn't hold onto it and make sure it never changed, but sometimes it's those things you can't touch that you need to hold onto the most.

The cold is back. I suppose it's time, but I was so happy bathing in the sun and warm the past few weeks. I suppose I will just have to wait until summer.

Last weekend was my dad's birthday. We all spent the day lazing around with the windows open and the breeze floating through the air, picking up our scents and twirling around our hair. I also went to the nursery and snapped pictures of pretty flowers and neon petals. I picked up a bright gold and chestnut streaked pansy called Tiger Eyes. It lights up my room, makes me happy. I also managed to successfully make a lemon cheesecake, which was amazing, if I can say.
The next day I spent a few hours wandering the town in the cold with one of my favorite people in the universe. The best way to spend a Sunday.

And today, I had my last driving class. According to my driving instructor, I should have no trouble passing the test. Fingers crossed.
Otherwise, I have been having the strangest, most vivid dreams, so nostalgic. I feel as if I do not sleep, they are so real. And the dream last night...passionate scandal while waiting for the world to burn outside our door. I woke up this morning with that carrying through my day, and I am not sure why.

Enjoy the cold, and the clouds. They are so pretty and vast, cool and grey. And Happy Leap Year <3

xx
{emma}

Eye of the storm.

My heart is beating, hoping that kiss won't become a scar.

It is the last day of my break. The last day of momentary freedom, ebbing away so quickly and fleeting. It has been well spent, although far too short. I spent a day with my favorite boy, eating amazing food, playing music, attempting to give singing lessons, wandering parking lots at night, going ice cream window shopping, falling asleep, and feeling so sophisticated, intoxicated. It was a beautiful night.
I also passed a day spent with two of my closest friends, sending me back to eighth grade and how close we were. I miss them and how well we fit; it makes me feel a bit melancholic that we have fallen away a bit over time, but I still feel like we hold the power to revive it.
My mum and I spent several days wandered pretty clothing stores, picking up some beautiful things along the way. I broke my frugality pledge to myself, but it never seems to last long anyway. I collected a knotted, beachy pullover, tortoiseshell wayfarers, a bag of fringe, and a lacey corset. I cannot wait for summer; all the pretty clothes make me ache for it.
And today I am watching geek worthy space movies, doing Spanish homework, sitting warm and rosey by the fire, trying to savor the sweet of home and carefree.

Happy belated Valentines, by the way; I hope yours was as perfect as mine.

xx
{emma}

I bleed glitter.

How has it been so very long since I have written on here? This private diary, yet so public if one knows where to look.

My life, to be entirely honest, has been like a roller coaster in the past few weeks, for no real reason. At least, not an obvious one. I have just felt so delicate, fragile; like a spider web or lace, or glass. Like I can so easily be shattered. I am not even sure what is bothering me, all I know is that I am bothered, and not sure how to escape my own mind. I think something is shifting in my perspective. I feel young, small, different, confined. Hopefully I will sort it all out soon, and my thoughts will come without worry or anguish.

The rain came last night, hammering gently on the roof. I fell asleep to the sound of rainy footsteps, lulling my eyes softly shut. Out my open window I could smell it; I love that smell, like an ache, or a quiet, secret laugh or something exhilarating, exulting. It makes me want to close my eyes and fall asleep with the scent dancing around my face and the patter wandering through my ears.
In other news, I found a few beautiful items of clothing recently, which made me quite happy. A slip of rainbow pastel sequins, and a lipstick pink romper with flowers that makes me ache for summer. The romper I have been wearing around the house with slouchy sweaters and tall socks, just because I cannot wait to put it on. But the other one...I just need a fantastic party to dress up for. And I got Keds!

I will be better next time, hopefully, more put together and less bittersweet, I promise.
Enjoy the rainstorms and the cool.

xx
{emma}

Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire.

It's odd to think that I have lived in two centuries and three decades, all before I have turned eighteen. 2012. To humour the Mayans, say the world will end in a matter of months. I want to make it the most memorable, present, explosive, unforgettable, epic, heartbreakingly beautiful last months.

The last few weeks have been quite amazing, for not doing anything huge. After the biggest emotional breakdown of my life on New Years, spent with my mom lying in bed, sobbing our eyes out for God knows why, my New Years Day was spent out at the beach. I took pictures of the waves crashing down in on themselves, jade-colored crystals spraying into the sky. I also collected handfuls of seaglass; one of my most favorite things in the world, seaglass is. It's sort of melancholic, being tossed about, drug out, tumbled round, washed up for years, until some lucky creature like me picks it up out of the sand with searching fingers and roving eyes. And the colours are so pretty.
A few days later I spent many hours wrapped in christmas lights, my eyes lined dark and heavy purple and glittery, behind a camera snapping gorgeous pictures of two of my closest friends. I will post some of them on here as soon as I can, they are truly beautiful.
And then, a few days ago, I spent the night with one of my favorite people on this earth. This boy is something special, I know it; a little bit of perfection. He made dinner for me too, because I am hopeless when it comes to coming up with an edible substance. It was perfect.
Yesterday was the beginning of school again. It was a bit of a system shock, overrun; a psychic strain. It's confusing, the constant reminder of a new year when I trip up writing the date on all my school papers. But, I dropped my first period class which, honestly, makes my life, at least the school portion of it, a little sweeter. I actually have time to wake up entirely before I am thrown into the world of bright hallways and cold classrooms and bustling crowds and yelling and piercing bells and passed notes and sharp pencils and paper...so much. Overdrive.

Anyways, that is my rundown for the past two weeks. Otherwise, I have started running everyday; we shall see how long that lasts. Fingers crossed.
And, I can't wait till summer. I have a feeling this year, and this summer, will be one I won't ever forget.

2012, bring it on.

xx
{emma}