I'm not bulletproof anymore.

I could have seen him. He was there, I know he was, in that room, with that smile, those eyes. I could have told him. He could have seen me, my eyes never wavering from his face, from his everything. I could have told him how that day, when I thought that boy was him, how my heart literally skipped, how my chest felt like it was going to explode for just that millisecond. Until my brain caught up with my eyes. I would have told him how I run through that vision in my head over and over again late at night, those words and that feeling, until I cannot sleep, until my thoughts are only of it, and how it has become the song stuck in my head. How he has become my song. I would have told him how ever since that dream, I can't get him out of my mind, how he has become my secret. I would have, I swear.

I sang with Tiger Paw today. It was amazing, and so strange how I am transformed by a steady beat, a constant. My words take form, my rhythms become like a heartbeat. The shower of compliments remedied my confidence as well; it was an hour well spent. I desperately need to find someone to play with, to make music with, soon.

Last weekend was a beach adventure, one of the most amazing weekends of this year, I think. Sun streaks, icey blue, lovely friends, veggie sandwiches, sandcastles, summer music, and then, that terrifying car accident on the way home, that truthfully was hardly a crash at all. We were all alright, and honestly, it made for a good story in the end. Then Chinese food, a silly movie, and sleepy eyelids that shut so early for teenagers. I adore the beach and how the air fills my lungs and doesn't seem weighted, but almost like helium in its lightness and clarity. It's so beautiful there.

My mind has been preocupied of late, and I am not sure what to do. Can't think, wish I could. My thoughts are already full of something else.
Later, loves.

xx
{emma}