I'm on a trip, i can't get off, can't get over.

march. how is it that i went from blogging every single day to once a month? its strange. anyways.

i cant wait for summer. i cant wait to go see Ani Difranco and U2 and The Maine in concert. i can't wait to go to Warped. i can't wait to go camping and swimming and kayaking. i can't wait to sleep in. i can't wait to go to the beach, to maybe go to the Grand Canyon, to tie dye lots of shirts. i can't wait to go to the hippie festivals like harmony and power to the peaceful, and maybe Kate Wolf. i can't wait to go to ikea and spray paint shirts and spend lots of time with friends. i can't wait to have time :) summer is one of the joys in life, by far.

you know what else? i love polaroids. i mean, how can you not? they're so...quirky. and nostalgic. and beautiful. they make me really happy, just..something about them. something on my bucket list is to buy a polaroid camera.

anyways i am going to continue watching Flushed Away, ya know the one with the rat flushed down the sewer? i adore that movie :D and doing my spanish homework. theoretically haha.

until later,

xx

{emma}

I'll state something rash, you have the most amazing smile.

so...the month of love.

ironically, the thing i'm most looking forward to is an anti valentines day thing i'm doing with a few of my friends. but yah know, it's not anti love...its just anti hype. :)

so the past few days i've been pretty sick, fever sick, but i made it through without missing school! woo! ...kidding. sort of. believe me, i wanted to. to be able to. but the problem with highschool, one of them, is that it's extremely difficult to miss any school without being slammed with a ton of makeup work after. anyways, i am on the mend now. just got this extremely irritating cough, which makes it impossible to sing, which is a total drag, but oh well. my fingers are triple crossed it will go away soon.

lately i've been kind of nostalgic in a sort of positive way, for being a little kid again. it was so simple... summer seemed like an eternity. the scariest thing was the dark. no worries about the future, just that moment alone. i miss that :) i saw a little girl today with her dad, she looked so so happy, so carefree and innocent. not that i am not, but it just seems like when you are little, there's so much less to worry about needlessly. just a thought.

other than that, my day consisted of watching my dad get yelled at by a probable mental old dude for absolutely no reason, then get invited to play in said old dude's jazz band, and watching youtube videos of guys dressed up as squirrels :D yep, thats me. haha. oh, and listening endlessly to The Maine. another friggin awesome band i am semi obsessing over. just, ya know, in case anyone wants to know.

and yes. i have come to the conclusion that my posts have now become pretty boring. or maybe they always have been, who knows. so i'm sorry. but i gotta stop apologizing at the end of each one for how boring it is because chances are, they aren't going to get much more entertaining. so...yea. thanks to those of you who take the time to read them anyway :)

later.

xx

{emma}

i'm a lover, not a fighter.

okay. so i realise it has been nearly a month since i have last posted, and for that i'm sorry. i used to consider going a week without writing as neglection, but now...yea. but i'm back!

it's already the last day of january, which is semi insanity. I've never been a huge fan of January, i'm sort of psyched for february though. :) and valentines day. even though i don't have a specific valentine, i dunno. i still just like the holiday.

so the news is that i'm not in fact going to india, which yes is kinda really disappointing. but. i can't get it out of my head. every other minute i'm sitting there dreaming about india. i zone out in school thinking about going there. so i have come to the conclusion that after i graduate from highschool i'm going to go there and do some kind of meditation for a few weeks, and maybe find somewhere to volunteer. i just want to explore. so now it's on my bucket list.

in other news, i found my newest favorite band. i can't even begin to explain how amazing they are to me. i mean, if i tried, which i won't, i would sound like any other teen boy band obsessed girl. but, honestly. in essence, thats basically the gist of it :) they're called This Century. and i'm in freakin love. theyre this type of music that, honestly, you would have to be crazy to dislike. so seriously, whoever reads this, please, please. look them up. for me...and obviously you. they're absolutely amazing, i don't understand how they aren't one of the biggest bands out there. yet, i love it when the music i listen to isnt what others listen to neccessarily. so anyway.

so, yea. i haven't been doing too much interesting of late, although in the past week i hung out with a friend i haven't seen lately and also hung out and bonded with two of my close friends, which were both awesome. i've been essentially in a pretty constant good mood this past month, which is amazing. i'm kind of getting a little stir crazy though, i want it to be spring so badly. i feel like i'm spending way too much time inside, although it's not exactly optimal weather outside. i want the sun and the warmth; i can't wait. only a few more months.

anyway i realise this is definitely not the most interesting post in the whole world, but i just figured i couldn't neglect this any longer. so...next post will be better. i promise.

until february,

xx

{emma}

I know you feel it too, these words get overused.

She breathes in and out, facing forward, staring at the time racing by her, past her, and all she can do is try and live in every second. has she changed? is it that one, crucial second that makes the inevitable come to a stop? or is it the vast span of neverending seconds that become, consume, define who she is? only the always running clock, no matter how hard time tries to escape from its fate of passing, can tell.

i can't believe it's a new year already. how is it that 2010 seemed to go by faster than a single heartbeat? yet, so many amazing things happened. everything i have ever blogged about happened in 2010. so much, unbelievable has happened. i wonder if i have changed. i probably have, even if its just that my cells are now new. anyway, i'm ready for a new year i think. i am sort of nostalgic for 2010, but i'm ready for new :)

i've been pretty sick the last few days, came down with it thursday night, but i had to got to school friday because i had two tests. i shouldnt have, i couldnt swallow, and my head was pounding and hazy. i haven't felt that bad in a while. i was walking down the halls and all of the sudden everything started moving much slower than normal, i felt like i was in a dream, and everything seemed like i was watching it from someone elses eyes, but i wasn't really there. i think i was delirious. i made it through, actually thanks to my friends, they sort of saved me. anyway i went home and slept for a long time, and now i am on the mend. thankfully.

in other {really exciting} news, i might be going to india in a few weeks! yep, i am absolutely phsyched. and really anxious to know. i would go with my dance troupe, and we would compete in the indian version of So You Think You Can Dance. i know. so. amazing :) basically a few members of my troupe went to an audition for it a few weeks ago and the judges loved them, and said they were interested in having them come and compete in india, so my teacher told them that there was an entire troupe and they were interested in all of us. in essence, if we went, they would pay for us all to go to india, compete and dance in front of 200 million+ people, for a minimum of two weeks, maximum of three months. its probably unlikely, but still. keep your fingers crossed for me. imagine...it would be unbelievable.

so, anyways, thats my current news. oh, also, i finally saw inception. finally. and, yes, just as everyone said it was confusing, but honestly, i understood it all. it wasnt that confusing. but i do have to say that whoever came up with the story is one of the most brilliant and imaginative minds out there. i wish i could be that brilliant myself.

until later,

xx

{emma}

She fights for her life on a train.

the beach was amazing.

the rain is absolutely beautiful. and so, as i continue to realize, is life. i mean, no matter what, good will come. even if its so small, miniscule, as a dream.

i have been having these really strange, intricate dreams lately. i almost never sleep without dreams, which i'm not sure is all together normal. yet what is normal anyway? its just odd, my brain must be hyperactive because of all the sugar i have been consuming in the past few weeks. and the thing is, when i wake up, i sort of feel like i haven't actually slept that much because it's like i've been truly living the dreams. i wish i could remember them completely.

christmas was amazing. sometimes i forget how truly lucky i am to have the family i have, as well as the friends. i mean, when i think about it i wouldnt ask for really anything to change. i mean small things, sure, but doesnt every family have flaws? also, among the things i got, i also got a tie dye kit, which i am pretty phsyched about. i'm going to look like the total hippie now with all my soon to be tiedyed clothes. i also got Across the Universe, which i love for some reason, and a beautiful glass necklace. the other thing about my family is that my extended family is absolutely huge; i have about twenty cousins and around twenty or twenty five aunts and uncles, as well as my grandparents, who nearly all live really nearby, so i always end up getting alot more presents than most, which is wonderful but i also end up feeling a bit guilty about. i suppose that cant really be helped though. i'm just grateful.

after christmas me and one of my closest friends got together and played music, watched movies and tv shows and ate pie. it was really fun, and it was also generally more productive than our usual gettogethers. then the next day me and two of my other close friends had a sleepover and made cookies, watched movies and just talked. i dunno why, but sometimes the talking is the best thing that happens. it's just really...enjoyable. i'm not sure why, but anyways.

then today me and my mom, dad, and brother went to the beach. it was absolutely freezing, windy, but it was still beautiful. there were these hanggliders there, it looked like so much fun. i think that might have to go on my bucket list, hanggliding. it looks amazing.

and i have discovered/rediscovered my current favorite band. the dead weather. its jack white...{of course}. and three other people, the other singer is a woman who has a crazy good voice. ah it's amazing. i could listen to it for hours.
alright well tomorrow is the last day of the year. hard to believe, seriously. until soon.
xx
{emma}

Everyone has a skeleton, a closet to keep it in.

only until the earth freezes over will my love for you stay. then, it will grow exponentially.

nearly christmas! i am incredibly excited. and it is sunny for once, although i have a feeling it wont be on christmas. i dont think i will mind too much, honestly. i do wish it would snow though. last year it snowed for a few minutes, and obviously more than a few minutes would be amazing, but still. even that worth is sort of beautiful.

until later.

xx

{emma}

i believe in you even if you don't believe in me.

finals. are. over.

i am kind of completely phsyched. for christmas, for new years, for sleep, for hanging out, for music sessions, for everything. just pushing certain things behind me, living for now.

not much else interesting has occured since my last post, i wish something had. we changed seats in my math class and this guy started creeping on me. he kept touching my hair, and moving my desk around. i swear i wanted to freaking slap him. i think that might have been frowned upon though. anyways this other guy finally said i could change seats with him so i did, and he slapped him for me. that made me kind of happy...karma right? but anyway.
i also saw the tourist today with two of my friends. i know it got kind of bad reviews but i actually liked it, although it was a bit predictable. and the fact that johnny depp was in it at all just automatically made it at least three stars, without even have seen the movie at all.

and i got a christmas tree, which i adore. the holidays make me happy. as do christmas lights.

also musically, i rediscovered Mumford and Sons and Kadawatha recently...i kind of adore both. if you get a chance...look them up.

i wish i had more to say, but life just isnt terribly exciting of late. now that i am on break though, i will actually have time to do interesting things.

and new years. i dont know how i will take it yet. i do know that i dont want to forget this year. ever. the little moments, even the ones that came to nothing. even them.

i still believe in them.

xx

{emma}