Baby there's a shark in the water.

So much has happened...I don't even know where to begin.

Today I got a job. I am now employed at this tiny video store in town, posters pasted all over and old movies shown constantly; I am so excited. It is truly my dream job, I cannot get over it. I am going to have so much fun, conversing with hippies and elderly couples about old or strange movies that I know of. I also got my SAT scores, and I did not do so badly; 1900.

Last Sunday was perfect. I mean, more than perfect, more than normal. More than ever. I am so lucky, luckier than I can even say. Unfortunately I cannot explain this code, this riddle. Because if I did, then I would be revealing a deep part of me that I do not wish to be discovered and splayed about, heard by so many strangers' ears. But just know that he made me happier than ever.

The rain came a few days ago, pounding at the glass like little diamond fingertips running down the casements and messing my hair until I looked as if I had been suddenly possessed by the urge to throw myself into a lake headfirst. But sitting inside warm, watching it come down in sheets, that is so beautiful to me. I remember when I was little and someone told me that every time it rained, that meant that angels were crying. It made me so sad to think of that, and it made me desperately wonder what could be so heartbreaking that it would make even angels sob. Even so many years later, I still think about that when the rain comes down. For some reason, the image stays in my mind in a sort of familiar, soft way; perhaps I still believe in the tears of angels after all.

Otherwise, today was just a generally wonderful day. Despite the grey, flint coloured skies that ceased to either break and let in sunlight or cloud over and offer angel tears, simply moving across the vast white above. I got a job, my first, I got my SAT scores, which were not entirely disappointing. Lunch was actually quite fabulous as well; examinations of palms and life lines and that wonderful boy and his strange singing, and the smile that makes me smile. I am so happy. Also, receiving compliments from the extraordinarily chipper man at the grocery store, who never fails to light my day up a bit, having a lovely conversation with a little girl that is far more comfortable with conversations than I, laughing over walking into inanimate objects and a hug from singing teacher, and a spontaneous, though fleeting visit from a good friend. All in all, I would say it was just a fabulous day, and not over yet; I still have to eat cereal. Trust me, it is not just any kind of cereal, but the kind made in heaven.

I hope your day was as smile-worthy as mine.
Happy Thursday,

xx
{emma}

I could fight a war like a veteran, give you a little more like a gentleman.

The past two days have just been really wonderful.

Yesterday was a concert that made us all deaf, bandana shopping, roaming a used clothing store, making fun of things as we went along, walking through child made tunnels at the park, a spontaneous trip to the coast, wind that stung and sand that pasted itself to my skin and my lips. Then food and sitting on the floor in a dark warm house, soaking in the stars and the mad man piano playing and the globe destinations and the dishwashing and broken glass, laughing until my cheeks were numb. By the end we were all so tired. But it was so worth it.

Then today, up before the sun, a quick breakfast of toast and then off to the DMV, where I finally got my liscense {Yes!}. Then lunch in a cafe with two lovely boys who make me smile, and then a walk through the forest on a path unknown to most of the world. I felt like we were in the middle of nowhere, when really, civilization was only a few miles away. But it was so peaceful, sitting next to the waterfall and looking up at the sunlight shafting in through the trees. Finally, home, where my brother and I ate too many chocolate mints, talked about Zombieland and did his math homework.
Then tomorrow, I have a fabulous all-nighter with two of my closest friends, where no doubt, sugar highs will be maintained and delirium will set in during the early hours of the morning. I do love this absurd tradition we have created.

This break has not let me down so far, to say the least. And I love being a teenager.
Until later, loves, and thank you for wasting time in order to get to the bottom of this rambling post full of nothing, it means worlds to me.

xx
{emma}

I'm not bulletproof anymore.

I could have seen him. He was there, I know he was, in that room, with that smile, those eyes. I could have told him. He could have seen me, my eyes never wavering from his face, from his everything. I could have told him how that day, when I thought that boy was him, how my heart literally skipped, how my chest felt like it was going to explode for just that millisecond. Until my brain caught up with my eyes. I would have told him how I run through that vision in my head over and over again late at night, those words and that feeling, until I cannot sleep, until my thoughts are only of it, and how it has become the song stuck in my head. How he has become my song. I would have told him how ever since that dream, I can't get him out of my mind, how he has become my secret. I would have, I swear.

I sang with Tiger Paw today. It was amazing, and so strange how I am transformed by a steady beat, a constant. My words take form, my rhythms become like a heartbeat. The shower of compliments remedied my confidence as well; it was an hour well spent. I desperately need to find someone to play with, to make music with, soon.

Last weekend was a beach adventure, one of the most amazing weekends of this year, I think. Sun streaks, icey blue, lovely friends, veggie sandwiches, sandcastles, summer music, and then, that terrifying car accident on the way home, that truthfully was hardly a crash at all. We were all alright, and honestly, it made for a good story in the end. Then Chinese food, a silly movie, and sleepy eyelids that shut so early for teenagers. I adore the beach and how the air fills my lungs and doesn't seem weighted, but almost like helium in its lightness and clarity. It's so beautiful there.

My mind has been preocupied of late, and I am not sure what to do. Can't think, wish I could. My thoughts are already full of something else.
Later, loves.

xx
{emma}