Grand.

I am back. It's strange how much you forget about yourself and the things you thought you had memorized, had eternalized and forever burned into your retinas. I never thought it would be so easy. It made me sad.

The past ten days were insane. I traveled through six different states, met new people, re-met past people, listened to countless cd's, and fell in love with the world all over again.
The first night was Las Vegas, which honestly, sort of broke my heart. Underneath all of the lights and faux glamour there's a desperation and hopelessness, the city of sin. I don't think I would mind if I never returned. The next day few days it was the Grand Canyon, which was so breathtaking and heartstopping and incredible and unfathomable it hurt to look at. It's still hard to believe that our earth created that on it's own, something so vast and powerful and grand.
After a few days at the Grand Canyon, we drove to Durango, Colorado; I fell in love. I may have to live there at some point in my life. The land and the aspen and the colours and the water, it was so intensely beautiful it's hard to describe. We went river rafting and dry-sledding that first day, and that was exhilarating. A few of our extended family members, those who we have not seen for over ten years joined us there and that was amazing in itself. I miss them now. The next day we went to Mesa Verde, which was bloody hot, over one hundred and five degrees, but still it was worth it. Hundreds of years ago, small populations of natives built a city that still stands now, unchanged. Incredible. It was melancholic to leave that place, but I know that I will be there again at some point; I cannot go my entire life without seeing those hills and waters and trees once more.
The last place we went was Zion in Utah. Nearly every place we went this trip was beautiful, and this place was no exception. The rock, so red and proud and uncaring and massive. It was a bit hard to take in. We went on various hikes, waded through rivers, swam, took naps in the stifling heat. They were good last days.
Then, yesterday, we drove home, over fifteen hours and through five states to our little tiny hometown in gorgeous California. I didn't realize how much I had missed the clouds and the fog until I realized I was cold, and not blazing hot like I had been for the past ten days. We took an insane two hour detour to buy illegal fireworks, which was an adventure in itself, went through Death Valley, drove through nowhere, and finally, finally made it home.
It's so good to be back. My bed is so warm, my house so lovely, my cat so soft and aloof. It was an amazing trip, for sure, and I have over one thousand pictures to show for it, but I do love coming home. And I can't wait to see and hear all that I have missed.

Love,
xx
{emma}

Saying nothing, that's enough for me.

Whirlwind.

I feel like my life is on fast-forward. It's like I can't even remember the last time I took a deep breath in, really deep, and just shut my eyes. Breathed.
It's summertime. I still can't even believe it, really, that we are done with our third year of high school, that we are seniors. How did that even happen? So fast, the time just slipped away from us while we turned our backs for one tiny, infinite second.
So much has happened since I last wrote, I am not even sure where to begin. School ended sort of anti-climatically, to be honest; I guess I was just so tired. I got a new job, working at a little ice-cream shop in town. I'm excited about it, and everyone is really great there, but I will miss my little video store like a memory that doesn't last nearly long enough; but I actually see it as something that is not over, undone. I think I will probably work there again someday, hopefully at least.

My summer, so far, has been rather different than I expected, but actually in a really good way. I have spent nearly the past week with that wonderful, crazy amazing boy that lights up my eyes. He makes me so happy. And then the past two days, with another boy as well, that I am just getting to really know, and we three fit so well together. We have had adventures in the last 72 hours; going to a party at 11:00 at night, the car running out of battery at 4:30 AM just as we want to leave and go home and shut out eyelids tightly, pushing the car down the longest driveway, making plans to walk the four miles home in the dark, then feeling so elated and on top of the entire world when it actually finally started. Then getting home at 5:00 in the morning, watching the sunrise from the bedroom window, going out to breakfast, taking silly pictures in the restaurant reflection. He had to rush off to work, so the other he and I walked under the fiery sun to the school and sat on the steps in the shade and talked for hours, literally, about everything. Everything. Then school rooftop excursions, bike rack adventures, and then the bikeride to watch the sunset. And then, as the sky got black, riding to the cemetery and sitting on the bench, the three of us, looking at the stars, with the owls and the bats flying softly above us. Two days, and already we have had adventures. I love that.

Otherwise, I go to the Grand Canyon in a matter of days; I am so breathlessly excited. I am going to take so many pictures, capture it all. I can't wait! And my family; I love our roadtrips more than anything.

But this is a strange string of words, I admit. My thoughts are jagged and rumpled and it is late, and my eyelids are at war with my will. It's just that so much has happened, and truthfully, I can't even begin to write it all down. But I will, because I am so afraid I will lose it all, and that is terrifying in itself.
Anyway, thank you to those who actually read all of this, I promise I will be a bit more coherent next time.

Goodnight,
xx
{emma}